Wouldn’t it be nice if things worked out like they do in the movies? Like setting a goal one day and waking up the next having reached the goal, and things working out exacttly as planned. Unfortunately, reality is a bit more complicated than that. The truth is that we have to work for what we want one way or another.
As I have mentioned in my previous post, “Boss Struggles”, I am part of many facebook communities that help me to follow my dreams and help me to stay motivated. However, I have days when I read success stories from other community members that make me wonder what I am doing wrong, and why I can’t be as successful as they are. I know that this is unreasonable of me because I don’t know their full story. I don’t know how long ago they began their journey, how much work has gone into getting them where they are now, whether they had financial and other types of support or not. What’s frustrating to me is knowing all of the hard work I have put into my business is worth it, but the progress is also very slow.
I put so much care and energy into making my products, and I totally feel proud knowing that and seeing it all come together; then I go to a market or fair and hardly sell anything sometimes. Those are the tough days, when I begin to wonder,”why?”. I wonder why I am doing this, why am I chasing this crazy dream of using my creativity to build a business and share with others who are dreamers like me?
I also think about all of all the time and money I’ve put into starting my business. It is a sobering thing when you work so hard, get so far, and think to yourself that you can’t keep going but then realize that it makes no sense to quit now because you’ve come too far. If you do not have a solid support system, it is even easier to quit because you are too disappointed and too exhausted to keep yourself motivated. Seriously, quitting is just so much easier, but you’ll never get any better at anything by quitting.
Yes, you must be honest with yourself. When you have other financial responsibilities, you have to be realistic about how much you are able to put into your venture, and you have to know what your limit is when it comes to time and money. Also, at some point you have to come to the realization that maybe this just isn’t for you; especially, if you are not passionate about it.
I find that our worse enemy is ourselves at times. I am talking about all the excuses some of us come up with, like: “It’s too much to stress over the challenges of starting something I have never attempted”, or “I’ll fail anyway”, or, “I don’t know this or that”. I am talking about how we sabotage ourselves by coming up with so many reasons why it won’t work, even though deep down we know we can; which is why we want to, but are too afraid to go for it.
Then there are some of us who need permission from others because of our self doubt. So we ask for permission and because everyone thinks differently, we get a pessimistic answer, not because this person we ask does not want us to succeed, but because that is how they see things. So we base our decision about our future on that person’s answer through no fault of their own, but because we are looking for the easy answer and maybe a reason not to go for it.
When we do this, we end up with regret and disappointment, and we sometimes envy others who decided to go for their dreams and do well. We beat ourselves up for wasting time wondering instead of trying.
Time will go by no matter what, so why not start now? I think we ALL know to some extent when we are truly capable of something; but doubt sets in, so we find ways to get out of trying new things because it’s not going to be easy. This happens to me, and before I know it, weeks, months, even years have gone by and I’m left with feelings of disappointment in myself for having a vision that I know was reachable, and not giving myself a chance.
There have been many other times when I have decided that as crazy as a goal might sound, I was going to try anyway and when I did, I succeeded and felt stronger, more capable. Everytime I did this I realized that I was really the one stopping me from succeeding in so many ways. I stopped myself from success everytime I knew I could do it but needed permission; I did it by choosing to be pessimistic out of fear of hurting others if I failed, when my true nature is being optimistic while knowing that I would also be okay with failing as long as I tried.
My experiences in the last 5-7 years of my life have taught me a lot about myself but they have also reaffirmed to me things I have always known to be true. I try to be a bit more open minded even when the majority of people have a different view of things than mine. I am choosing to follow my heart and my instinct. I’d rather try, and fail at something than to never know what could have been and blame myself for not trying.
Do not let fear and self doubt paralize you and control you. Give yourself a chance. Work in silence, give yourself credit when it is due, allow yourself to feel pride in what you have accomplished and let your success speak for you.